Riffing on Miss Universe

Bare with me here. I want to experiment with thoughts  and how coherent they can be without putting them into a beginning,middle and end with the tools of grammar,sentences and words.. < obviously.

I’ve never watched a pageant in my life.Ever..but  for the first time in my life I watched The Miss Universe pageant. I was curious to see women from Around the World representing their Country and what that Country’s ideal of beauty meant.  I was also fascinated with the fact that the show was a U.S production being televised from Russia. Miss Universe is quite the production.There’s nothing like it….. and every single one of those 86 contestants were  beautiful with all that make up,grooming and big hair.

“Contests to determine “who is the fairest of them all” have been around at least since ancient Greece and the Judgment of Paris. According to legend, a poor mortal goatherd, Alexandros (Paris), was called upon to settle a dispute among the goddesses. Who was the most beautiful: Hera (Juno), Aphrodite (Venus), or Athena (Minerva)? All three goddesses offered bribes: according to the writer Apollodorus, “Hera said that if she were preferred to all women, she would give him the kingdom over all men; and Athena promised victory in war, and Aphrodite the hand of Helen.” When Paris selected Aphrodite in exchange for getting Helen of Troy, the most beautiful mortal of the time, he inadvertently started the Trojan War.

While ancient Greeks memorialized in myth the complicated relationship between beauty and competition, there is no historical evidence that they actually held contests for women. A “contest of physique” called the euandria was held yearly at an Athenian festival — but the contest was for men. European festivals dating to the medieval era provide the most direct lineage for beauty pageants. For example, English May Day celebrations always involved the selection of queens. In the United States, the May Day tradition of READ MORE HERE

After the show was over i felt compelled to write a blog post. I jotted down 6 pages of ideas that I thought i would end up forming into a op-ed kind of piece.Then I thought again.I didn’t want to give it too much attention or weight.After all, it is what it is, a spectacular Donald Trump spectacle/ production..probably to find his next wife.

bitstrip beauty queen

So here it goes.. my thoughts as  I wrote them down.

*How about a 40-50yrs Miss Universe? These 17-25yr olds are asked simple questions begetting answers that the contestants think the judges  want to hear. Opinionless? They stand for nothing.Not even themselves.After all, what do they really know about themselves,the world around them at that age?

*Are Beauty pageants just about beauty? Where are the Brains? How about a Brain Pageant?

*Miss Philippines- Social Media Sympathy vote to make the top 10 because of current Typhoon Haiyan?

*Is D.T looking for a new arm bracelet?

*At first I was loving the show..then I thought..How do these women er..um girls..compete? Each Country has its own standard of what/who is beautiful.Miss Universe is just not fair.trying to define the Ultimate.

*At 17 or 25  I never could or would look like that.So what?! Are these overly groomed eye candy barbies planning on world domination or just want to go into the entertainment biz or open their own restaurant?

*WTF!? it’s 2013.Represent.There are Big Beautiful Brains out there.D.T is a pimp.looking for his next Ivana? in the guise of entertainment?

*American culture..oops..compared to the rest of the world..doesn’t have one.While the other countries showed off their rich cultural heritage outfits,Miss U.S.A came out in a Techno robot contraption. usa

Ha! MTV would love it.Show’s over.25 yr old Miss Venezuela wins the coveted title and crown for Miss Universe 2013.

Has me wondering,percolating and ruminating about one’s Lot in Life.Would I think differently,be less opinionated if I had been born with the ‘Destiny’ of being Miss Universe? I hope not.In this world,maybe too late for me but here’s hoping young girls see through the glittery shit that exploits and makes money off of not quite realized young hopefuls.What about this same concept for Mr.Universe? I would like to see young,gorgeous boys from around the world made to look like men in a thong or tight boxer shorts.

That’s all. click on the pic if you want to listen to an interview with Miss Universe 2013



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