41 yrs/Kindergarten/gr.9..first day of school.

This is an interesting excercise. Writing b/c I have to… b/c I have promised to make my Self accountable to those who have given and invested their money and mostly… their ..YOUR …belief in me.Thank-you!

I  had my first class last night for”Small Business Ventures”..All day I was nervous/excited with high expectations of what the next 3 months will entail…I haven’t been in a ‘classroom situation’ since college days.. 20 something years ago….)I have been beating, fighting,nursing a stupid cold but regardless…. when I finally found my classroom after wandering up and down the stairs and the myriad of hallways with big,wide eyes trying to find my classroom where I was anticipating LikeMinds.. I still managed to arrive 15 min early.. so I took notes.observing …..before the professor walked in and introduced himself..People sauntered in..and out of roughly 25 people..the majority were males..Was I surprised? no. Just disappointed.

I was also disappointed to discover that I was in a class that a good fraction of students were only there b/c they were looking for grades as part as their overall program curriculum.

.Did I sign up for the wrong program?

NO. ..I like my prof very much. From the top.. I asked him about HIS credentials and how he arrived here thus far in Life.

He is a humble,honest being.. a captivating storyteller and has “lived’ a colorful human existence/career…..he is an entrepreneurial spirit that is sharing and giving..giving back of his knowledge,expertise and experience in the commercial, corporate world as he knows it..and I know he is going to be an ally in my PoLLY PoE! vision:)

He asked me at the end of the night..”Did I pass the Audition?”

I responded….yes ..indeed:)

For the most part.. going about life ..I feel young and ageless..but being in a class where I know I am the oldest in earth years.(the others have no idea) I feel I have so much more experience that cannot be put on paper..I’m at a loss for relating to those who are in their 20’s and think they know how the world works.. I get it. I understand. I’ve been there…I bought a t-shirt..and sold it…..and yet…I am unable to relate to them.. My intense,curious listening and fearless questions as I look into their eyes…. makes them uncomfortable.

i don’t know how to not make them feel uncomfortable.

I know why  I am here. Why I am taking this class…

when someone(no names mentioned) says to me they are here b/c they have to be…for marks etc.. I know they are not the kinda people I want to play hard with.. cuz’ all I want to do is PLAY and Play is 24/7 work. and I love  to Play.

PLAY=PAY in my world.

On the positive side of it all..  I am terrified.. I like that. I am going to grow more than I ever thought possible.. I have never been about numbers,math, logistics, facts,research to prove what I know.. and yet. here it is.. I’ve always lived by  instinct.. now, this class is going to give me the skills to back up my instincts:)

I remember being in elementary school and doing tests and failing them.. (math to be specific) I knew the answer.. just knew… but couldn’t show HOW I knew..

(Did ya know? I admit..I failed gr.3 math and failed accounting in gr.10.

SO WHAT!…. It’s very frustrating telling someone who doesn’t understand that mode of being.. I just know!.

First and foremost,I am an Actor/Student of Life

.. I trust my Self…I KNOW my Self..so now…. trying to apply THAT to THOSE who only relate to  numbers and  research as proof for success ..I will be challenged..

I was also disappointed b/c  I thought I was going to be in a pool of creative,social do-gooders, so to speak..people who wanted to cause some good shit…instead, I think I’m in a class of people who are only about making  money…not thinking about their impact on the future..what they have to say.what they STAND for…. again..is where i feel the difference in age/maturity.

so… what to do?

The Prof wants us to get into groups.. to come up with a business idea/plan..

but it’s not my thing.it’s not why I am taking this class.I came with an idea/passion.

It’s not for grades.or a hypothetical idea..

I’m here in this class to make IT happen.

I’m here to learn how to make my ideas a money making reality while causing some good shit..errr trouble… ..

ok. that was my first class..

I’m looking forward to homework.

Afterall.. I am and always will be  A Student of Life.

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3 thoughts on “41 yrs/Kindergarten/gr.9..first day of school.

  1. Hey Dawna,
    I just got up to speed with your life. Sooo many wonderful, exciting changes. And about the school situation? First – how does it feel NOW, after your FIRST day?
    Second – remember that it is usually those who DON’T “fit in” who are successful – no surprise that the class isn’t brimming with like-minded souls. You’ll find them later when you’re closer to your goal. Trust the process and just keep doing what you’re doing – expecting the best and observing how people behave. You’re a SUPERSTAR!!!
    xo – Sophia

  2. ps. oh. and don’t give away your secrets. the world of business is a ruthless one. only share what you already own. don’t be too nice. (i know that might be difficult.)

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