I should be more thrilled..

but for some unbeknownst reason I’m not.
A short film that was supposed to go to camera last summer is finally happening this summer.. next month.(July)
Am I losing it?..the passion for it all? perhaps it’s just that I haven’t worked in awhile and am questioning my existence in the Grand Scheme of things.. Seems like I’ve been in a state of ennui and yet still hopeful that something will come along.. appear on my radar that will set my sails in a new direction..even uncharted territory:).

To be honest with myself. I am really beginning to despise the auditioning process and the constant hunting for work. when not doing that I’m pushing the writing/publishing of my children’s material and that has been a pain in my impatient ass. queries..submissions and waiting.

Re-inventing oneself is not an easy task..

blah. blah. blah. whine.. whine..whine..
I think I’m going to go for a run and sweat it out..and then work on that script.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “I should be more thrilled..

  1. I know all about being skeptical of your own talents. I too am starting to write queries to get an agent. We would have a lot to talk about! All I can do is repeat a saying I heard many years ago: You’ll only gain as much as you’re willing to lose. And I know I’ve stayed single and childless for a very good reason- I have dreams that mean more to me than what everyone else settles for. Not that I have no desire for such things, but I will not play the Replacement Game with myself and spend the rest of my life trying to convince myself that I’m happy. I wish you the very best in your efforts. Stay in touch.

    • Hi Rene.
      WoW! where to start?!..
      in no particular order.

      regardless of the shell. you have four wheels:)
      at least;)
      and i agree about holding out.. however. as I grow deeper and wiser, have come to know what’s most important. satisfying… a life w/ meaning/longevity
      as much as I have chosen.. without regret. I wonder. if only What I know NOW could be applied to THEN…or something like that:)
      I accept.
      it’s easier for males.. I don’t know your physical age. but regarding children and marriage.. the window of opportunity plays a tune on MY head these days..being female..
      Damn, it would be great to philosophize( sp?) Life over a few bottles of wine:)
      are you on facebook? I’m going to look for you there. I’m much more active there:)

      here’s to re-invention and living the Ultimate Truth:)

      d

      • couldn’t find you on FB.. I quoted.”.You’ll only gain as much as you’re willing to lose”

        look for me there. “Dawna Marie Wright”

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s